Comments on: The Struggle of a Boy in Ballet

By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 21:15:52 +0000

I was 11 when I was introduced to Ballet while staying with a family who lived in Montreal. I had met them while they were staying in Queens, NYC during the NY Worlds Fair. The father was working with the Canadian and French pavilions during this time. When they moved back to Montreal, I stayed with them every Summer from 11 to 14, when the family moved to France and I moved to New Jersey. The mother was the director of one of the more prestigious Ballet academies in Montreal and after watching the children in their class for about a week, I was asked to join. Even though there were quite a few boys in the class and also the son of the family, I refused at first. To be honest, I was absolutely terrified of it but relented after speaking about my fears and being assured that no one would make fun of me. No one did, at least not in Montreal. However, when I tried to study Ballet when I returned to NYC, it was a different story. Still fearful of what others would say, I tried to find a school in another borough so I could study in secret, but it was very frustrating at first, as most of the schools I would call would tell me ‘No, sorry, but we can’t accommodate males’. I wound up studying in a school in Brooklyn but even thought that was great in a way (I was far enough away from where I lived to keep it secret), I soon found myself being taunted mercilessly by the locals in the neighborhood where the school was and then even worse experiences, which I won’t go into here or at least now. When I was 14 we moved to New Jersey and I made a terrible decision, at least in retrospect, that I would drop Ballet altogether. I had been bullied for so long that I simply said ‘No more!’ Sorry I did that as when I began to study Ballet again in college, it was very difficult to pick up where I had left off. After a few years, I injured my ankle and that pretty much did it for me. Had I kept Ballet going continuously, the injuries probably wouldn’t have happened. I’ll never know, however, I am very sorry that I gave in to the bullying and also, giving up something I loved to avoid the stigma of studying Ballet as a male. By the way, when I first started Balled, at 11 years old, it was 1965. I hope things change.

By: Annabell

Annabell — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 07:22:22 +0000

Wow I do ballet and I love it. Thnx for making sure I don’t quit!

By: Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 18 May 2011 17:47:39 +0000

My son is in his second year of ballet…with a male instructor! He is the only boy his age at his dance studio who takes ballet. There are several older boys in the touring company who take ballet in different classes.
The kids @ the studio love my son, but my extended family and kids@ his regular school and in the neighborhood give him a hard time, calling him a “girlboy”, questioning his gender, making him feel really bad.
I ask them…what would ballet be without male dancers for the ballerinas to dance with?

By: matthew

matthew — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 06:06:53 +0000

I’m 27 take adult dance classes and love ballet.

By: Bart11

Bart11 — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:40:31 +0000

I have been on both sides of this issue. When I was young, a male cousin of mine was taking ballet and so excited and enthused. But, as children (and some adults) do when they are envious, I picked on him for it. I was brutal. Finally, when I was 16, and able to drive myself to class, I took the plunge. I caught some grief at my smalltown high school for it and only took a year of class. Later in college I took again, but I never had the ability that I did when younger. I tell kids who are bullied that those who pick on them are envious because it is something that they don’t have the guts to do.

I should know

By: Manfred

Manfred — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 21:12:33 +0000

For me it was somehow different. We had a girl in class (3rd grade) and she was in ballet. I was fascinated and then my parents decided that we would go and see a gala of great ballet dancers. That made my desire go real high. I saw men there and they did what I wanted to do. I remember carefully asking my mother about ballet. I did get a lot of explanation but somehow was told that its something for girls and that it was not god for the feet and would make them crippled.
I stopped asking. When I was 16 years old I still had the desire to do ballet. I secretly started to investigate where I should go. The theatre in our town had a school and I started hanging in the area. At that time it was fashionable to have long hear, so did I. It was also fashionable to wear a leather coat with hand stitching, and mine was original from Afghanistan. Well it was mid 70s.
One day I dared to enter the ballet school, I wanted to get more information. My hart was at 100 beats per second. I was in the lobby in front of the door to the office which was closed, so I had to wait. Then the lessons where finished and out came all the girls as well as the teachers. I was immediately spotted and told to get out and not to hang around here, thee was nothing to see and I should not dare to come in again. I was so perplex, I went out, it was a nice day, I just remember that I went to a nearby park, sat under a tree and cried.
Finally when I was 43 my doctor said that I would not be able to go on like I was (workaholic) and that I should find some sport to help me get out of that situation. I tried going to clubs (Tennis, Volleyball) but I did not fit in. I remembered what I wanted to do as a kid and started to turn the yellow pages of the phone book. Then I started to phone and got to hear that I was to old or did not fit in to any class they where offering. In one school a lady just said that she had no time but I should look in in about 4 weeks.
Well I did and only one day later started with ballet. Now 9 years later I do not regret anything. I am still going to class 2 or 3 times a week and will stick to it as long as my feet will support me.
Its not easy for us males, but its possible!

By: Meta

Meta — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 15:55:22 +0000

my brother and myself take ballet he started at age 12 and is now 13 he doesn’t get alot of guff from his freinds but there are people in his scout troop who think he’s a sissy

By: Henrik

Henrik — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:45:15 +0000

I also almost quit ballet at a young age, because of getting a hard time from other kids.. This is a serious problem for young male dancers anywhere, and it’s important that adults give them good rolemodels and act supportive – it’s such a shame that someone is being robbed of their passion because of prejudices.
Today, I am a professional dancer. I write a blog (http://tightsandtiaras.blogspot.com) on ballet from a male dancers perspective, hoping to enlighten my readers on “our kind” – we’re really not that different from any others.
I am happy to find more people with the same opinion, keep up the good work!

By: uberVU - social comments

uberVU - social comments — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 14:05:28 +0000

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By: Amanda-Louise

Amanda-Louise — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 09:56:54 +0000

In Scotland very few boys do ballet… In our school we only have 6 (2 are pre-school!) and around 600 girls.
Over the years many talented young boys have given up at an early age because of taunting from their peers at school. Fathers are openly embarrassed and mock the fact that their son does ballet. Even the boys who study jazz and tap won’t start ballet because “it’s BALLET”.
The RAD are running a boys only course in Edinburgh soon – I’m hoping that it will inspire and encourage our young dancers and their parents and challenge the prejudiced attitude in our Society. http://bit.ly/5OeD2H